Glitterbot the Homosexual Decepticon

Dear Glitterbot,

I Megatron would like to thank you for applying to the Decepticons! First of all, let me say how much we enjoyed the three hours you spent showing off your baton twirling skills instead of shooting at the designated targets on the firing range. And thank you again for the personalized coffee mugs full of candy you handed out to everyone. There are however a few things about yesterday that concern me. Take Dirge for example, he can change into a fighter jet. That's pretty useful. And Insecticon, he can control other robots. We often make use of that. You on the other hand have absolutely no weaponry or fighting skills to speak of. Beyond your glitter-enameled paintjob's possible blinding capabilities, we can find little use for your skills. I'm sorry Glitterbot, we enjoyed having you around, but there is no place for you in the Decepticon army.

Best wishes,
Decepticon Recruitment Headquarters