Eric vs Japan

So I plan on going to Japan this summer. The reasons for this are obvious... interesting culture, cute girls, weird food, and most importantly, at my height of 6'3, there is the chance to be Godzilla. Long have I awaited this day.. I even bought those Godzilla slippers that roar when you walk on them. I have also spent considerable time planning my attack.
First, when I arrive in Japan, their customs officials will immediately recognize me as Godzilla, beast of legend, and initiate the air sirens/various warning procedures they have in place. That is when I will strike. I will begin by destroying their airport, depriving them of any possibility of escape. Next, the fun will begin as I march towards a few small outlying towns and tear them to shreds, kind of a warm-up for the main event. Finally, when the time feels right, I will begin my agonizingly slow walk towards Tokyo. And if they even THINK about awakening another ancient beast such as Mothra or Gorosaurus (or that fairy princess Jet Jaguar) to aid them, they will be sadly disappointed by the outcome.


You see, I have been taking lessons at Rodan's School of Monsterfighting for the last 17 years and let me tell you.. I've progressed way beyond those simple punches and throws I used to use. Also, I have learned to curb my excessive celebration when I am victorious, as it leaves me open to attack. I don't care if the other monster is down or looks sort of dead, I will throw its corpse into power lines or molten lava or whatever is at hand to ensure bother-free destruction. The last thing I need while I eradicate downtown Tokyo is some Cretaceous beast whos seen Rocky III too many times coming back for another try. And you see that plasma laser they're pointing at me? I might just pick it up and use it on the town it was meant to protect. Improvisation is one of the first things you lean at Rodans School of Monsterfighting. So watch out Tokyo, because when I begin slowly wrenching apart your economic infrastructure beam by defenseless beam, there will be no stopping me.