I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I am a bad person. I did something terrible last night. I found a golf ball in a drawer and was rolling it around because as you know, I love balls. That was when I saw a fly on the counter, which is a pretty odd thing to see in the winter. Anyhow, you know that scene in Indiana Jones with the boulder rolling after him? Well, I decided to re-create some movie magic and roll the golf ball at the fly. Problem is I think the fly was sick or tired or something because there was no incredible chase scene, no cute little fly whip or fly hat, just the wet smoosh of what could have been the fly version of Jesus (he certainly wasn't the fly Indiana Jones) dying senselessly. I felt pretty terrible, so I buried it out back under some snow with a little piece of watermelon because I know they like that. I tried digging in the actual ground but it was hard and I was getting cold so I gave up. The moral of this story is that when you get cold you should give up.