They sell "Tuscan Milk" on Amazon, so I wrote a poem for a review.
Why do people always give me a hard time for drinking diet soda? I really don't care if it gives cancer to rats. That will teach any rats that bite me. Enjoy your cancer, rat.
I always wondered why Terminators had teeth. Seems kind of silly. Maybe they wouldn't have lost the war to the humans if less money had been diverted to their dental program.
So I was walking down the street and there was a guy dressed up as a robot making fun of people when they walked by. He had an audience of about 6 or 7 girls. At the time I was wearing a really nice shirt, sandals, and torn jeans. Anyhow, he looked over and said "Hey look! It's a Gap AD!" and all the girls looked over and laughed at me. In response I looked at the guy and said "I bet they wish it was a Hanes AD". I actually made the mean robotic street performer laugh.
Several senior clergymen have recently expressed a belief that the Pope is abusing his supreme apostolic (infallible) authority. "It's getting ridiculous" said the Cardinal Deacon, "Today he ate a bad danish, so what does he do? He creates a canonical law against them and anoints a box of donuts, naming them the snack of Christ.". "He doesn't have to call upon the will of God every time he wants something" said one of the papal aides "I think being the Vicar of Jesus Christ has gone to his head."
So I hung out with a few girls the other day, It was my turn to bring the movie and I told them I was bringing a romantic tragedy about two people and a love that wasn’t meant to be. Certainly this describes “Predator” right?! The alien clearly displays respect for Arnold, and isn’t mutual respect where all relationships begin? And why does the Predator spare Arnold till last? I think the Predator wanted more than Arnold’s skull, he wanted his heart. The end is always a real tearjerker for me. The alien takes off his mask and Arnold realizes how different they are, and how nobody would understand their love, so Arnold hits him with a giant log and forces the Predator to activate his self destruct. It’s like Brokeback Mountain and Romeo and Juliet all wrapped up into one amazing movie. The girls didn’t appreciate it at all and the helicopter hadn’t even landed before they ejected it and put on “Fever Pitch”. I’ll never understand the opposite sex.
Well well, Easter weekend is almost upon us. A time of fun and family gatherings and colorful eggs and Godzilla king of all monsters in a bunny suit trying to eat your children. You've got to hand it to Godzilla, he keeps reinventing himself, kind of like Madonna.
